Whose son?

I am a confused son of God
Ignorant of my family roots
Angry and bitter under the rod
Standing by the bush in my boots

I’m a clean looking child of Bhaal
A man after my father’s heart.
Trying hard to fight against it all
Trying hard not to fall apart.

But who is it? Yahweh or Bhaal?
Who is it who gave birth to me?
Now it feels like the Lord of the fall
Before it was the one in three.

This neighborly war is quite hard
I try to negotiate peace
between these two foes that I call ‘lord’
though the fighting may never cease.

My fathers are too far apart
to think that a treaty is nigh.
Perhaps I need to unite my heart
for a house divided must die.

One gives a road with lots of strife.
The other just gives double death.
The first one sprouts to eternal life.
The second will suck out my breath.

I don’t know the Spirit within
I assume he’s rather like me
Acquiescing to my every whim
And letting my passions run free.

So when I call fire from heaven
to consume my every foe
I forget that mine is the leaven
that’s contaminating this dough.